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Meredith: Don't look at me like that, like you've seen me naked!
Meredith Grey: Did you let me scrub in for this operation because I slept with you?
Derek Shepherd: Yes... Just kidding.
Cristina Yang: I get angry when I go without sleep.
Katie Bryce: My head is full.
Dr. Meredith Grey: It's called thinking. Go with it.
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: [standing in the bathroom, outside the shower, where George is] I reminded you before
you went.
Dr. George O'Malley: I forgot when I got there.
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: No.
[she opens the shower door]
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: No, you were so passive aggressive!
Dr. George O'Malley: Naked! I am naked in the shower!
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: [closes the shower door] Just tampons, George! I really needed tampons. God!
[Meredith enters the bathroom]
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: I'm not riding in the same car as him.
Dr. Meredith Grey: [looks at Izzie, who is standing in her "Hello Kitty" underwear] Unless you're going like
that, you're not riding with me either. Where are the tampons?
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: He didn't buy them.
Dr. Meredith Grey: [to George] You didn't buy them?
Dr. George O'Malley: Men don't buy tampons!
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: [opens the shower door again, and George falls over] You know what? You're gonna
have to get over the whole man thing, George! We're women! We have vaginas! Get used to it!
[she walks out of the bathroom, leaving George lying on the floor of the shower]
Dr. George O'Malley: I am not your sister!
[he slams the shower door]
Dr. Derek Shepherd: [to a patient and rapist whose victim bit off his penis] I have good new and bad news. The good news
is that we managed to stop the bleeding. The bad news is that we gave your penis to the cops.
Dr. Meredith Grey: You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your
life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night
and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close
you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn
to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone
has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
Dr. Meredith Grey: [about her new roommates] They're everywhere. All the time. Izzie's all perky and George does this
where he's helpful and considerate. They share food, and they say things, and they move things, and they breathe. Ugh, they're,
like, happy
Dr. Cristina Yang: Kick them out.
Dr. Meredith Grey: I can't kick them out, they just moved in. I asked them to move in.
Dr. Cristina Yang: So what, you're just going to repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted place until one day you
snap and you kill them?
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: [to Alex] You wanna see it? You really wanna see it? Fine! Let's look at that tattoo
up close and personal, shall we?
[she rips off her shirt]
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: What are these? Oh, my God! Breasts! How does anybody practice medicine hauling
these things around? And what have we got back here? Lets see if I remember my anatomy.
[takes off her pants]
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: Gluts, right? Lets study them, shall we? Gather around and check out the booty that
put Izzie Stevens through Med. school! You wanna call me Dr. Model? That's fine. Just remember that while you're still sitting
on 200 grand of student loans, I'm out of debt.
Dr. Cristina Yang: You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just
walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would
just be... naked.
Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: It's makeup. It's retouching.
Dr. Cristina Yang: You get that we hate you, right?
Dr. Alex Karev: So, Grey and Stevens really walk around in their underwear?
Dr. George O'Malley: Um... Not all the time. I mean, some of the time. But not all the time.
Dr. Alex Karev: Sexy underwear?
Dr. George O'Malley: Yeah...
Dr. Alex Karev: And they just let you look at them?
Dr. George O'Malley: Well, uh... yeah.
George O´mally: Damn it. I'm a bad sponge. A leaky sponge. I'm gonna leak all the wrong secrets. I'm a bad liar. I can't
even lie about talking to myself.
Patient: Another Dr. Sheppard?
Addison: He's my husband actually.
Patient: Seriously?
Derek: Ah-ha.
Patient: Wow look at you two - everybody must hate you.
Derek and Addison: You have no idea.
(Izzie catches George helping Alex study)
George: Izzie wait.
Izzie: I say I like the guy and you can’t stop hating him. And as soon--
George: Izzie.
Izzie: As soon as he screws me over--
George: Izzie!
Izzie: You’re his new best friend.
George: Izzie, he failed his boards. This is important.
Izzie: He cheated on me.
Meredith(Walking up): Busted?
George: Yeah. I’m busted.
Meredith: His exam is tomorrow.
Izzie: You’re in on this too? He cheated on me! God!
Cristina(She’s walking down that hall with a Christmas tree): Oh, I told you she’d find out.
Izzie: Oh, of course you’re in on it.
George: She let him touch her boobs!
(Cristina hits George with the Christmas tree)
Izzie: He cheated on me with George’s skanky syph nurse!
George: That is just plain rude!
Meredith: We know, he cheated on you! That’s why we let you turn the living room into Santa’s freakin’
Village. We’re not big on holidays you know that. But we’re trying to be supportive because you are having
a hard time. But right now, Alex, he’s having a harder time.
Izzie: Why does everyone care what kinda time Alex is having?
Meredith: Because he’s dirty Uncle Sal.
George: Sorry?
Cristina: Huh?
Meredith: He’s dirty Uncle Sal. The one who embarrasses everyone at family reunions and the one who can’t
be left alone with the teenage girls but you invite him to the picnic anyway.
Cristina: Sorry. What?
George: I still don’t--
Meredith: I have a mother that doesn’t recognize me. As far as family goes, this hospital, you guys are it.
I know you’re pissed at Alex but maybe you can try and help him anyway. Sorta like in the spirit of this holiday
you keep shoving down everyone’s throats.
(Izzie and Meredith walk away)
Cristina:You.
George: What?
Cristina: Boob.
(Cristina walks in and sees, Alex touching Meredith)
Cristina: Ok, seriously, if you are that lonely there are excellent vibrators, I can give you a catalog.
Meredith: He failed his boards, I'm helping him study.
Cristina: You failed your practical?
Alex: Glad to know you can keep a secret, Grey.
Meredith: I kept your secret, it didn't do you any good. He needs our help.
Cristina: Oh, you're not serious.
Meredith: What if it were you?
Cristina: It wouldn't be.
Meredith: But what if it were?
Cristina: It wouldn't be.
(Meredith gets paged)
Meredith: I have to go. Be a patient do it for me.
Cristina: Fine, but when Tiny Tim goes all Norman Bates on us, I'm blaming you.
(Cristina is helping Alex study)
Cristina: Okay, the way you’re grabbing me now, that’s assault.
(She shows him how to do it the right way, and George walks in)
George: What? What the hell? Does Izzie know? Does Burke know about this?
Cristina: Un-bunch your panties, George. We’re helping Alex study.
George: I can’t hear you when his hand is on your boob.
Cristina: Take your hand off my boob, Alex.
George: Thank you. Study for what?
Alex: Shut it, Yang.
Cristina: Alex failed his boards.
George: Seriously?
Alex: I failed one part of one board. That’s it.
George: Still…that’s pretty embarrassing.
Cristina(She gets paged): Ah, he’s all yours Georgey do your worst.
George: You’re not giving me a rectal. Do not ask me to cough.
Izzie (After complaining about Alex): I'm having a moment here.
Cristina: You're not gonna have a nervous breakdown and kill yourself are you?
Izzie: No.
Cristina: So there's no chance you'd kill us?
(Izzie storms off)
George: Oh, that was wrong on so many levels.
Cristina: And so good.
George: That was. That was good.
(Cristina laughs)
(Showing Burke her apartment, which is a total mess)
Cristina: This...is where I live my mother decorated it. I don't do laundry, I buy new underwear. And uh, under the table,
six months of magazines I know I'll never read but I won't throw out. I don't wash dishes, vaccuum, or put the toliet paper
on the holder. I hired a maid once, she ran away crying. Uh..the only things in my fridge are water, vodka, and diet soda.
And I don't care, but you do. Still think living together is a good idea?
Joe: Happy Thanksgiving.
Cristina: Joe, thank god.
Joe: Hey, this...is my boyfriend. Walter.
Cristina: Whatever. Tell me you brought liquor.
Joe: I brought pie, pumpkin.
Cristina: You're a bartender.
Joe: Did you bring scalpels?
(After Webber asked her about the fellowship a few times before)
Webber: You're being wooed aren't you?
Bailey: Excuse me?
Webber: The fellowship, LA Med, Chicago Central. They're wooing you. I mean, you're fielding offers, you're looking at
bonus packages, you're letting yourself be wooed.
Bailey: Chief I--
Webber: It's fine. It's fine. Go be a hotshot some where else. But tell me...how could you do this to me? I mean, I'm
hurt, I'm really hurt. After all I've done for you. You're gifted and you're ungratful. And that's all I'm sayin'.
Bailey: I'm pregnant you blind moron.
Webber: You're what?
Bailey: My heart rate is 110, I'm burning 3000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I got indigestion and gas. Did you
know that carrying a boy in your uterus means that you burn 10% more calories than if you had a girl. Guess what I'm carrying?
I tried for 7 damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men; from the very beginnin'
they just suck the life right outta you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant.
Webber: Um...congratulations.
(Trying to find a dress to wear for her date with Burke)
Izzie: Uh....they're both really nice.
Cristina: I know I bought them. But which one's right?
Izzie: For what? You're gonna look hot in either one.
Cristina: Well, clearly. That's not the point.
Meredith: Wow, you look hot.
Cristina: Yeah, Burke and I are gonna talk about how hot I am over dinner. This date is such a mistake.
George: It's easy to get nervous on dates. It's especially hard if you're out of practice. You just gotta be mellow, and
relax--
Cristina: Yeah, I know how to date, George, how about you?
Alex: Well, I have her scheduled for the bisectomy, and I get to stay while plastics does a tran-flap reconstruction.
Izzie: I couldn't do it.
Alex: Do what? Make yourself all hot and sexy for your boyfriend like Yang?
Cristina: Go wrestle something.
Izzie: I couldn't cut off my ovaries and breasts just because I might have cancer.
Cristina: Look at it like a hand. If someone told you'd die unless you chopped off your hand, you'd do it.
Izzie: Except when you chop off a hand you don't kill your sex drive and have silicon breasts. Get flashes and lose your
ability to bare children.
Meredith: If it were me I wouldn't even have the test, I mean what's the point? We're all gonna die anyway, right?(They
stare at her) It's the Hello Kitty band-aid, on my forehead. It's freakin' me out.
Alex: I say slice and dice 'em, whatever. They're body parts.
Izzie: Oh, so you'd cut off your penis?
Alex: Yeah, if it kept me from dying. Besides I've got plenty to spare.(walks away)
Cristina(After trying on a dress): I could do hot in my sleep. I look hot in my scrubs. I'm a hot person. He's seen me
naked a thousand times.
George: Bad, bad images in my head. (walks away)
Meredith: He's never seen you outside of the hospital.
Cristina: Thank you.
George: I'm in hell.
Cristina: I'm the one in hell. Burke's going all Iron Chef in your kitchen. Get your ass back here and save me.
George: I'm in the woods with shotguns and liquor. It's like deliverance out here.
Cristina: Well, at least you've got liquor. Where does Meredith keep the booze?
George: Um...I don't think she has any.
Cristina: How's that possible? She's a wasp. Liquor is like oxygen to a wasp.
George: Which is why we're out of liquor. Listen, can you come and get me?
Cristina: Ok, how am I supposed to get through the holidays without liquor, George?
Alex: I tell you something, you tell me something.
Meredith: OK. I feel like one of those people who's so freakin' miserable, they can't be around normal people. Like I'll
infected the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress. Your turn.
Alex: I failed the medical boards. If I tell Izzie she'll be nice about it and all supportive and optimistic. She might
as well rip my nads off and turn 'em into earrings.
Meredith Grey: Pick me, choose me, love me!
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